"Now this is not the end. It is not even the
beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning"
Sir Winston Churchill
It took a few weeks to write the diaries up, just because of how 'narked' I felt at loosing in the semi final. We had tried to employ a strategy throughout our time on scrapheap with three points. Our first was to keep it simple, this could be seen from our second build where we questioned a lot of what was expected of us, and tried to simplify everything. Why make a complex lever mechanism when a piece of string will do? Our second was to build everything secure and very strong. When we started this whole charade, we decided we didn't want to be a team that had lost because their machine had broken. The third was, it has to be a laugh, OK all three of got stressed, wound up, what ever you want to call it at some point or other, but all of us did have a laugh, and enjoyed it.
I have been asked on a couple of occasions "Do you think the final decision was fair?" and I have to say no. Did we lose, yes and the Anoraks had built a more powerful machine than ours. But I think it was more unreliable as it broke down, and fired balls in different directions, and as the judge put it, "You don't want to be standing near a machine, where you don't know where your flaming balls are going to land." The series producer briefed us before the competition, saying that if neither of us hit the target then it would be on who went the furthest, but we did hit the targets and then it was draw. Maybe if we had a chance to argue our case..... but maybe, should have, would have and could of, are history, and The Anoraks went on with our best wishes.
Which was our favorite build, I personally would have to say the 'Partickle Axelirator MKI' even though it lost, I feel we did the most work on it, and it worked perfectly. The first build, the bowling banger, had to have a lot of work done to it behind the scenes to make it safe. Because of this it didn't feel like ours, we put ten hours worth of work onto it, but it was the backstage guys and Graham that actually made it work, not us. The Spy Cars we felt was a bit of a let down, just because we took it too simply, OK we won, but what the Bakewell Puddings built was much more what scrapheap is about. We built a glorified tractor and trailer, and it doesn't seem that impressive when you tell your mates about it. I know Jimmy just wants to see the first one, because of his stunt roll and the final sequence where it hits the pins. The first and third I think will be the most impressive when it comes to seeing the race on television.
I've also been asked about the experts, all I can say is we were lucky to have three completely different but at the same time very professional experts. Remember we consider ourselves a bunch of clowns who haven't been near tools in many years, and yes we did cop some flak from the technical guys due to our lack of engineering prowess. But the experts brought out the best in us in all three episodes and we produced the goods. Graham our first expert, was a quiet fellow that let his workmanship do the talking for him, we have all said that if it hadn't been for Graham we would never have got through that episode. Jim was unlucky in some respects, because the idea that came out after the chat, was far beneath what he could have done. We built a tractor and trailer which as I have mentioned was the least favorite of our builds and Jim did a great job, but I think he could have done much more. Richard led from the front, and wouldn't shirk any job that was required, very confident in what he was doing would sometimes make it difficult to change his mind, but would accept any changes that were required with good grace and enthusiasm. One of the downside of losing was that Richard had to be on the losing side, as he didn't deserve it, his idea worked perfectly, but we were pipped to the post.
Whilst I'm at thanking people I
might as well thank some others, the real brains behind what was built, Hadrian,
Jem and Zimmer. Hadrian Spooner, the technical chief, is getting sick of the
fact that he is always introduced as, the guy who designed the first machine
ever to go across the Bering Straights. See
here. He would dish out a lot of
abuse at the level our engineering, but we knew what he said was true so it was
always a laugh. There are two types of engineers, those who bullsh*t, and just
talk a good job, and ones that can plan what needs to be done and will get their
hands dirty doing it. Jem Stansfield was vastly more skilled and competent than
almost anyone we met through out our time on the show, but he never looked down
on anyone, and would help with any problems without complaint, and seeming glad
to help. Zimmer, we have no idea what his real name is, just he's called Zimmer
because he comes from Zimbabwe. He could seem to be very moody but again same as
Jem always willing to help, even if he knew that he was surrounded by clowns.
Naomi Carter the intrepid researcher, she must have got sick of going
through umpteen hundred application videos. Then had to look after us when we
arrived. I would imagine that seeing two groups of whinging moaners every week for twelve weeks, was
most probably a right pain and hardly worth the money. So here it
is. Thanks Naomi for everything. Enjoying our application video, coming out
to see us and helping to get us on the show, sorting out Jimmy's bag, and never
once complaining about us (to our faces).
Ben and Vron two of the camera guys, for always having a laugh, and making it
easy for us to have a camera stuck in our faces. Please remember though it is
not as funny to have to say a joke punch line twice for the sake of the camera.
Anyway what's next? We have already told Naomi that we are interested in doing Scrappy Races next year. The ace in our bag is that we are trying to organise a car on diplomatic (functionaire) plates from our work just in case. We are also thinking about applying for Scrapheap Challenge again, but I doubt they'll have us back, it's nothing new for them. We would though like a re-match against the Anoraks as we didn't lose.
Anyway that as they say is that, our 15 minutes of fame are over confined to endless repeats on the Discovery Channel. Now part of the Scrapheap challenge history books, we had a laugh doing it, and would recommend it to anyone.
Ali, David & Jimmy - The Up 'n Atoms